My battle with mental illness

I have had bi-polar disorder for about 16 years now. And I definitely have my on and off days. I must admit though most of my days are good so I really can't complain too much. But I'm going to share my story. These two pictures are about 3 years apart. In the first one I was at the lowest point I have ever been. I had recently quit a job that I loved, and I wasn't happy with my new job situation. I had no motivation or drive to do my best. I really had no motivation to do anything at all. I wasn't happy with myself and I didn't care about myself either. I would usually just wake up in the morning and brush through my hair a little, brush my teeth and put clothes on. I didn't try at all to look my best or even try to feel good about myself. I just didn't care. All I really wanted to do was sleep. I also had really bad social anxiety, especially in group settings. I would clam up, not say a word and want to leave the room. David and I even went on a few vacations during this time and I know I wasn't the best travel companion. I wish I could go back and have that time together to get the memories we weren't able to. I finally realized one day that this wasn't the person I knew or that my family new. I also didn't want my nieces and nephews to remember me like this. I wanted them to know the fun Aunt Missy!
I have had so much support from my husband, my family and my friends. I have also had great doctors and therapists who have helped me along the way.
I feel like I am the happiest now than I have been in a really long time. I feel so good about myself and I have a lot more energy than I have had in quite a few years. I know that this is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. And considering some of the challenges that I could have I think I'm pretty lucky that I can still enjoy my life and the ones I love!!

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Melissa's story

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